Gender Based Violence Affects Us All
*Content note* transphobia, violence, murder
Two years ago, Oklahoma Governor Kevin Stitt signed a law that said students can only use public school bathrooms corresponding to the gender designation on their birth certificate. On February 7, 2024, a nonbinary teenager, Nex Benedict, was assaulted and bullied in the girl’s bathroom, by three other older girls, at Owasso High School. Reports show that they, Nex, was badly hurt and battered - but the school still suspended them for two weeks, and did not inform their guardian of the altercation. The next day - Nex collapsed after waking up and passed away.
As of Feb 22nd, investigators are currently ruling that Nex’s death was not a result of trauma related to the assault that took place, yet have not mentioned what could have contributed to their death. Investigations are still underway, but more than ever it's important that we talk about this. This is not a coincidence, this is not an isolated incident. This bill allowed this to happen, our politicians have allowed this to happen, the police who refuse to call this a hate crime allowed this to happen, our normalization of violence allowed this to happen - we all have a role in this. This is tragic and we keep failing our vulnerable children - both nationally AND abroad.
We often think - violence has to be THIS explicit, but what about when it’s the language we use, the jokes we make, the books we ban, the day-to-day harm we normalize? With an attack on trans rights, an onslaught of anti- LGBTQ+ state bills, coordinated efforts to take shut down DEI efforts across industries & universities, and the reported deaths that we know of amongst the queer community - at SHIFT we remind people that we all have a role to play in combating gender-based violence.
This pyramid, designed to mirror the pyramid of white supremacy culture, details more specifically and explicitly how our culture shapes gender-based violence. From the ways we normalize gendered dress codes and gendered bathrooms, to “boys will be boys,” “girls should behave a certain way…” we see how this becomes a foundation that allows degradation to happen, which then creates the basis, and allows the removal of autonomy to happen, to more explicit violence. We are seeing it play out right now. We get outraged when anti-trans bills pass, but in what ways do WE enable the top of this pyramid. Are we also able to call out the harm, at the bottom of the pyramid, which is so normalized within the gender binary? It’s that basis that allows us to live in a world where anything outside of the concrete boxes of gender is a target of violence. It dehumanizes not only our genderqueer, trans, and nonbinary people but also ourselves. We cannot continue to look at these tragedies as isolated acts - but how they are all interconnected, and how we choose to engage with one another.
We have to protect all our children. They deserve better from all of us. We urge you to examine the ways you continue to uphold gender-based violence in your day to day - because we all have, and still do in so many ways. We urge you to find ways to soften with each other and move with more care and compassion.
